Mary Elizabeth Harfield

Mary Elizabeth Harfield died suddenly at her home in Eastbourne on Friday 5th February 2021, aged 85. Much loved Mum of Lynda, Widow of John, Grandma to Luke and Hannah, Mother-In-Law to Philip and loving caring friend to many.

Below is the Eulogy which will be read out at the funeral:

MUM
Mum was born on August 21st 1935 in Edgware, Middlesex and lived in a house with her mum and dad. Her dad was a Landscape Gardener and an Artist. In 1940 when mum was just 5 years old they left their home and moved to Halifax in West Yorkshire to escape the bombing and lived there until the war was over. In 1947 they moved back to Middlesex but only stayed there for a year and in 1948 they moved to Southsea in Portsmouth. Unfortunately, mum’s father did not live long to enjoy the seaside and passed away in 1950, about 4 weeks before mum’s 15th birthday. Mum was close to her dad and missed him terribly.
Mum contracted Diphtheria and Scarlet Fever as a child and was extremely poorly and had to spend a lot of time in hospital thus missing a great deal of schooling because of it. She relayed how her dad used to write to her on a daily basis and send her gifts as she couldn’t have visitors. It must have been such a hard time.
On the 9th June 1956 when mum was 21 she married my later father John Harfield. Two years later they moved to Bournemouth and shared a flat with another lady. They lived there for 3 years until they had saved enough money to obtain a mortgage on a newly built bungalow and moved in, in 1961. I came along on 8th October 1966 and mum would always remind me that I arrived at tea time and made her miss her tea that day! I remember mum having a couple of jobs whilst living in Bournemouth one was working in the Haberdashery Department in Beales which I know she enjoyed as she was quite a ‘dab hand’ with the sewing machine and would make most of my clothes when I was small. She also worked in a local store called The VG where I would walk along to after school and we would walk home together from there.
In 1977 we all moved to Eastbourne and moved into our new family home on my 11th birthday! Mum often told me I was not a happy little girl on that day – moving in on my birthday! Mum found work at the Bird’s Eye factory where she would work in the evenings. Mum often told stories of the things they would get up to and seemed to really enjoy working there until sadly it closed in 1987. They all worked hard but obviously had fun along the way. Mum then worked in Debenhams for a time downstairs in the Homeware Department but didn’t really enjoy it. She then found work out at Hankham Nurseries who supplied pond plants, seedlings etc to various garden centres which was much more up her street until that came to an end in 1995.
Mum’s 1st grandchild Luke was born on 9th June 1993 (the same date as mum and dad’s wedding anniversary), followed by her 2nd grandchild Hannah on 11th May 1998. Mum loved her grandchildren dearly and loved spending time with them and I know that the phone calls they made to her, especially over this past year, meant so much.
In 2003 mum found out that she had a cousin called Sheila. Sheila and another lady had been trying to trace mum for years and after the initial shock of mum finding out she had a cousin she didn’t even know about, she was so pleased and they were able to meet and form a relationship before Sheila sadly died 2 years ago.
Mum enjoyed many hobbies throughout her life from tap, ballet and ballroom dancing (often performing in shows) and sewing when she was younger to card making, knitting, flower arranging, jigsaw puzzles, walking, gardening, reading and going out for lunch once older. It was her little touches to things that made all the difference.
In 2013 dad passed away after a long battle with dementia and mum being his carer. Although dad didn’t recognise anyone around him he always remembered and knew who mum was which I always thought was rather lovely and told everyone how much he loved her. Mum carried on living in the family home until her sudden and terribly sad death on the 5th February. Mum would often say to me, jokingly, ‘I’m a wonderful mother’ after something funny had happened between us both or a gift exchanged and I can honestly say mum that you were certainly a wonderful mother and with your passing have left a large whole in our family. I believe with all my heart that you are with your Lord and Saviour and take comfort from the fact that one day we will meet again in Heaven!

GRANDMA
Grandma, you were so incredibly kind and much loved by both of us. We have some deeply cherished memories of you that will never be forgotten. We will keep you in our hearts forever.
I will deeply miss our spontaneous trips for lunch in town – especially at your favourite spot ‘Deliciously Gorgeous’, my goodness how much chocolate did we consume in there! At least there might be some chocolate leftover for other people to have now. I will miss our long chats and your kind way with words, as well as your quirky sense of humour which always made me smile. I trust that you are currently tucking into you favourite cheese sandwiches in Heaven as a I write this, I just hope you are leaving enough room for dessert as you always did! I hope to be able to embrace all of your finest qualities that rubbed off on me over the years and apply these to my life. Luke
Grandma loved her cake and meals out – I have very happy memories of lunches out with Grandma. On one occasion myself, grandma and my mum all met up for a nice big lunch and afterwards mum left to go back to work, so myself and grandma went on to have a full cream tea and then more cake and more tea at a completely different place, all in the space of less than 2 hours! I have no idea how Grandma managed to stay so slim, an ability that we were all envious of! Hannah
Grandma, goodbye for now…. but not forever xxx